Don't Become Haman

Don't Become Haman.

Well, Haman has officially entered the chat. And I have to admit, Esther 3 feels a little personal right now because I'm dealing with a Haman of my own.

    Obviously, I don't mean someone plotting to destroy an entire people, ( although some may feel like it) but I do know what it's like to deal with someone whose offense and need for control starts spilling over onto everyone around them. So when I read about Haman getting so angry because Mordecai wouldn't bow that going after Mordecai wasn't enough anymore, I understood this chapter a little differently. I'm not gonna bow!

    Haman let one offense grow until an entire group of people became the enemy. And that's where I had to stop looking at the Haman in my life for a minute and look at myself. Because it's really easy to recognize Haman in somebody else but It's a whole lot harder to admit that if we don't guard our hearts, we can start acting like him too.

    We can be completely right about what someone did to us and still respond completely wrong. We can replay it over and over, tell everybody our side, start collecting evidence, need people to agree with us and secretly enjoy it when the other person finally looks bad.

                          That's still offense.

   And I've had to learn this lately, I can ask God to deal with somebody else's behavior but I also have to ask Him to deal with my heart.

                          Actually, I need to.

   We can't allow somebody else's bitterness to mak ys bitter. Or let their need for control turn us into someone who has to control the outcome. We can't let being misunderstood make us obsessed with defending ourselves, and we definitely don't want to become the very thing we're asking God to protect us from.

   That's the danger of dealing with a Haman. If we're not careful, we spend so much time watching what they're doing that we stop paying attention to what it's doing to us.

    Then we get to the end of the chapter, and this part really stuck with me. The decree has gone out, the whole city of Susa is confused, and Haman and the king just sit down to have a drink. They're comfortable while everybody else is dealing with the mess.

     I've been there. Have you?

I've wondered how someone can create chaos and then go on about their day while everybody else is left trying to figure out what just happened. That's usually when I want to explain myself, correct everything and make sure people know the truth. But God doesn't fix everything in Chapter 3. He doesn't expose Haman yet. He doesn't stop the decree. From where everyone is standing, He looks completely silent.

                        But He's not absent.

   Esther is already in the palace. Mordecai's faithfulness is already written in the king's records. Things have already happened that Haman knows absolutely nothing about. Haman is making plans inside a story God is already ahead of. And that brought me right back to what God has been teaching me lately. I don't have to defend myself every time. I don't have to make everyone understand. I don't have to out Haman Haman. I just have to make sure that while God is dealing with everything around me, I'm letting Him deal with what's happening inside me too.

   So yes, I'm dealing with my own Haman right now. But I'm learning that my prayer can't only be, God, deal with them. It also has to be, God, keep my heart right while You do. Help me go to work and walk in peace. Help me love people well. Help me keep building what You've given me to build without getting distracted by what somebody else is doing. Help me know when to speak and when to leave something alone. Because someone else's behavior doesn't get to decide mine.

   If you're dealing with a Haman of your own today, don't spend so much time asking God to show you what's wrong with them that you miss what He's trying to protect in you. Don't become the very thing you're praying against. Their plans don't mean God has lost His.

           Hidden, not absent.

His fingerprints are everywhere.

Love Pastor Mandy

Daily reading Esther 3

MandiesDandies / Ark of Hope 

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