It was His all along.

  I needed today's reading. Like really needed it. For the last several days, we've watched David prepare for something he desperately wanted to build himself.

    He gathered the stones. He prepared the people. He organized the worshippers. He appointed the gatekeepers. He prepared Solomon. He handed him the blueprint. And now, at the very end of 1 Chronicles, David does something that may have been harder than all the preparation.

        He lets go.

And that's the part I needed today.

     I've shared over the last few days that I want to build the temple. I want to do something big for God. I want to see the things He's placed in my heart become something. I want to look back one day and see that all the praying, writing, preparing, serving, pouring out, and showing up actually built something.

    And sometimes...it's lonely gathering stones.

That's the part we don't talk about enough. There can be a loneliness that comes with carrying something other people don't completely understand. Sometimes I look around and feel like everyone else is building while I'm still preparing. They're celebrating things you can see while it feels like I'm carrying things I can't always even explain. And if I'm being completely transparent, sometimes that hurts. Sometimes there's a deep sadness there. I watch friends in ministry doing incredible things, and I'm genuinely happy for them, I really am but there's also this quiet ache deep inside me that whispers, God when is it my turn?

   And then there's that strange feeling of being on the outside. Not necessarily because anyone intentionally put you there. You just feel different. Like you're carrying something at a depth that some of the people around you don't understand.

    You show up. You encourage everyone else.

You celebrate their victories. You pray. You pour out. You keep doing what God has placed in front of you. And sometimes you go home wondering, Who pours into me.

   Have we ever thought about that? Who encourages the encourager? Who cheers for the person gathering stones? Who notices the person preparing something nobody can see yet? There are moments when I want to say, God, I'm tired of gathering stones. I want to build something.

   And then I read 1 Chronicles 29. David says

“Everything comes from you, and we have given you only what comes from your hand.” And it hit me like an arrow in my heart. I realized David isn't just giving, he's releasing. He's spent years carrying this vision. He's gathered everything necessary to make it happen. He's prepared Solomon. He's prepared the people.

And now he has to loosen his grip on something that has lived in his heart for years.

   Because it was never really David's temple to begin with. It wasn't Solomon's temple either...And whatever we build or even prepare for isn't ours either. It was God's and it's still his. The stones were God's. The gold was God's. The blueprint was God's. The vision was God's. The people were God's. Even David's calling was God's. And so is everything in our own hands.

  David was just trusted to carry his part of it for a season. And eventually he had to let it go.

I think sometimes that's harder than obedience.

We can obey while still holding tightly. We can serve while still trying to control the outcome.

We can say, “God, this belongs to You,” while secretly having a very specific picture of what we expect Him to do with it. But surrender means letting go of more than the thing itself.

   Sometimes we have to let go of how we thought it would happen. Let go of when we thought it would happen. Let go of who we thought would be beside us. Let go of who we thought would understand. Let go of the recognition we thought would come with it. Let go of the need to see the finished product.

     And sometimes we have to let go of the version of ourselves we thought we would be by now.

Whew. That one gets me. But we have to understand that letting go doesn't mean you never cared. Sometimes it hurts because you did care so deeply. And surrender doesn't erase the sadness that comes with it. It doesn't mean disappointment isn't real and It doesn't mean loneliness suddenly disappears. It does mean I'm choosing to trust God with what I cannot control.

    David never saw the temple finished. He never walked through its completed doors. He never stood inside the thing he'd dreamed about for so long. But his preparation mattered. His obedience mattered. His stones mattered. His surrender mattered. Because Without David's preparation, Solomon's building would have looked very different.

   Maybe somebody besides me need this reminder today. I know I do but I don't think I'm the only one. You need to know that being Unseen doesn't mean unimportant. And Hidden doesn't mean you are forgotten. Preparation doesn't mean nothing is happening. And letting go doesn't mean it was all for nothing.

    Letting go is just saying “God, I carried it as far as You asked me to. Now I trust You with the rest.”

I know that's what this season im in is teaching me. I don't have to make something huge happen. I don't have to prove that my calling matters. I don't have to compete with somebody else's ministry. I don't have to understand why their temple seems to be going up while I'm still gathering stones. I don't have to make everybody understand what I'm carrying. And I don't have to hold everything together. And neither do you.

    We just have to look at what's in our hands today and ask God, if it's still ours to carry. Sometimes faithfulness means picking up the stone. And sometimes faithfulness means putting it down. Sometimes being obedient is that you just keep going and sometimes it's letting go. Both require trust.

    Gathering stones isn't something you do before you finally get to do something important for God. Gathering the stones is the important thing.

   The quiet prayers matter. Showing up matters. Pouring into one person matters. Writing one more devotion matters. Encouraging somebody when you could really use encouragement yourself matters. Preparing someone else to build matters!

Heaven measures “big” very differently than we do.

  So if you're feeling a little on the outside today, If you're tired of being the one who pours out, If you're wondering whether anyone sees what you're doing, If you're watching other people build things you secretly wish you were building, If you're grieving something God seems to be asking you to release, I understand that ache. I get it. But most importantly God gets it.

    And today we can open our hands together and declare that God, it was Yours all along. If You ask me to gather, I'll gather. If You ask me to build, I'll build. If You ask me to prepare someone else to build, I'll prepare them. If You tell me to carry it, I'll carry it. And when You tell me it's time to put it down, Lord, help me let go.

    We can't become so attached to the temple that we lose sight of the One we are building it for.

Love Pastor Mandy

MandiesDandies / Ark of Hope 

Daily reading 1 Chronicles 29

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